GIRLS vs WOMEN

It pays to know the difference before you proceed with getting to know a femaie.....

Girls want to control the man in their life.
Grown women know that if he’s truly hers, he doesn’t need controlling.

Girls check you for not calling them.
Grown women are too busy to realize you hadn’t.

Girls are afraid to be alone.
Grown women revel in it-using it as a time for personal growth.

Girls ignore the good guys.
Grown women ignore the bad guys.

Girls make you come home.
Grown women make you want to come home.

Girls leave their schedule wide-open and wait for a guy to call and make plans.
Grown women make their own plans and nicely tell the guy to get in where he fits.

Girls worry about not being pretty and/or good enough for their man.
Grown women know that they are pretty and/or good enough for any man.

Girls try to monopolize all their man’s time (i.e., don’t want him hanging with his friends).
Grown women realize that a lil’ bit of space makes the ‘together time’ even more special-and goes to kick it with her own friends.

Girls think a guy crying is weak.
Grown women offer their shoulder and a tissue.

Girls want to be spoiled and ‘tell’ their man so.
Grown women ‘show’ him and make him comfortable enough to reciprocate without fear of losing his ‘manhood’.

Girls get hurt by one man and make all men pay for it.
Grown women know that was just one man.

Girls fall in love and chase aimlessly after the object of their affection, ignoring all ‘signs’.
Grown women know that sometimes the one you love, don’t always love you back-and move on, without bitterness.

Girls will read this and get an attitude.
Grown women will read this and pass it on to other Grown women & their male friends.

A Woman's Vocabulary, Keywords and Meanings

OK FELLAS....I'VE DONE MY HOMEWORK ON THIS ONE...READ....APPLY....STAY ALIVE..



FINE
This is the word we use at the end of any argument in which we feel we are right, but need to shut you up. NEVER use 'Fine' to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so I feel that it's an even trade.

NOTHING
This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine".

GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".

GO AHEAD (normal eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

OH
This word followed by any statement is trouble.
Example; "Oh, let me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night". If she says "Oh" before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days. "Oh" as the lead-in to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows and a "Go ahead," followed by acts so unspeakable that I can't bring myself to write about them.

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before visiting on you major retribution and tribulations for what ever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead". At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT
This is much different than "Thanks". A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh". Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh", as she will only tell you "Nothing".

Still a Fan....Or Are You??.....

Ok people here's the thing.  I'm a fan of Chris Brown's music....and his dancing.  Best dancer in the game if you ask me. I'm also a fan of Kanye West...a huge fan.  He is a brilliant producer...fashion guru...and awesome entertainer (if you have seen him in concert).  These are just two examples of celebrities that have been in the center of bad media the last couple years.  However, I"M STILL A FAN.  I will explain why.


There must be something about Chris Brown for so many to hang on to the crime that he did.  So many other celebrities have done wrong...more wrong than he has and still...people are fans.  Before you go into a tizzy and flip out saying, "OMG AJ supports the beating of women!!"  No...completely the opposite.  I don't believe in such an act at all.  I am completely against a male raising his  hand to a women.  I can't fathom putting my hands on one at all.  It's not how I was raised, it's not what I believe in.  However, I do believe in forgiveness, retribution, and the possibility of someone learning a lesson and growing towards correcting their flaws.  Was Chris Brown wrong? HELL YES!  Did he deserve the humiliation that he suffered? ABSOLUTELY!  Do we need to punish the young man for the rest of his life...NO!  Not to mention, does anyone know what role Rhianna played in the dispute?  She played a major part!  Once again let me be clear, I don't believe that whatever she said or did in that car merits the ass whoopin she got from Mr. Brown.  This is a young man that obviously has anger issues, and did not know how to handle the situation like a mature man.  Not to mention you don't piss someone off that needs anger management while he's going 90mph on the freeway in a Lambo!  So Chris Brown took his punishment...has since then been major in the music industry and STILL, that's all people want to talk about.  I believe that he has to take responsibility for his behavior too however.  Being a star means being in the lime light at all times.  There is no such thing as complete privacy anymore.  It's what you signed up for and it's no doubt the price you pay for fame.  Deal with it.  The media is a bitch...a mean bitch, and it will rip you apart.  Dave Chappelle said in one of his comedy specials how he was going to protest the war in the beginning...until he saw what the media did to the Dixie Chicks when they dissed George Bush in a concert.  It was funny of him to say, but at the same time it showed maturity in knowing when to speak, when to react, and when to shut the hell up.  Still the boy is making mistakes.  Stealing cell phones, breaking windows, recording with the woman he lumped up, still though, I'm a fan.  He just has a lot of growing up to do and hopefully he does.  I have said this before.  I separate a persons artistry from their personal life.  If I was famous and the media did some digging on me...on any of us...could we handle it??

I'm not going to speak too much about Kanye West.  People have gotten over what he did to Taylor Smith. Asshole move?  Yes...sure it was.  Do I still love him and admire his music...YES!!  He's an asshole...but has managed to stay out of the eye of the media in a negative sense.  That's the difference between being grown minded and learning and being immature and carrying on acting like a damn fool.

These are people though...like us...just with money and cameras on them.  Separate their personal imperfections from their craft.  AND STOP JUDGING ME FOR LIKING THEM!!

Peace & Love

The Games We Play..

I can say this, because I've been guilty of it at one point in time, and I think all men have.  MEN PLAY GAMES!  Some of us grow out of it...and others never grow up.  Maybe they enjoy the thrill and see no value of a woman's feelings.  Maybe they just don't know how to treat a woman.  Or maybe they haven't had it done to them, so they don't know the pain that it can cause.  I see a lot of it.  

I'd like to say that this is simple but it isn't.  The type of guys that play such games are weak.  Weak minded, weak willed, weak in every aspect.  You'd think it be easy for women to spot this before they go to far with them.  In my previous blogs I have made comments that if a women holds herself to a higher standard and puts a high value on herself that she'd be able to shield off such men.  There's a big difference between holding a high standard and being a stuck up woman.  I would hope you ladies know the difference and don't take what I just said to the extreme.  If you respect yourself enough and have a good sense of what you want, that alone serves as a repellent to men who pray on woman to use them and leave.  I will tell you men like that prey on women with low self esteem.  It's so easy to spot them.  Then they say what they need to say to build them up, promising them the world.  Then they spit out lines of how much of a good man they are...to which if he was any type of real gentleman he wouldn't have to spout off about himself.  His demeanor and actions would speak loud enough.  Confidence and independence scare off men who are looking for games.  It's that simple.

I've also said this.  I don't believe any man fully knows what it is to love and respect a woman until he has a daughter of his own.  That's when it all clicked in my head.  I don't ever want her to experience the pain that I've seen some of my female friends endure through failed relationships, or just men that they have had interest in and couldn't spot that he was not someone they shouldn't be around.  I don't want her to to have memories of her own father treating women that way.  Whatever woman I end up with will know, and feel the respect I have for her, and honesty will be fluent.

I will say this in closing.  For those women that are victims to a broken heart...or just have simply been done wrong.  Don't carry it over to the next person.  Learn from it...grow from it...view it as a lesson learned.  But don't change who you are.  Don't let the actions of a man define how you will be.  Carry on with your elegance.  Be who you are, no matter what.

Peace & Love

The Aftermath....

When you have been in a serious relationship for a long period of time and then it comes to an end, the aftermath of it can be good and bad.  You may be bitter and hurting depending on the dramatics that led up to the break up or,  you could just be happy to be free of a situation that held you down.  I was in a relationship for six years and I still have no clue what to think of the changes that have occurred with my own personality.

In a nut shell I'm in that mindset where I know what I want...what I don't want...what I will tolerate...and what I won't tolerate.  It's that simple, at least to me it is.  To others, they may interpret that differently.  I just don't waste my time with situations that I don't see going anywhere.  Rather I don't waste my time OR the other persons time.  It's just a massive change when you get back out into the single world.  So many games are played by both sexes.  It's annoying as hell.  You see someone...you talk to them...they try to figure you out with these childish methods that are so frequently used.  I don't have time for that shit.  Let's be grown.  A lot of what's on my mind right now has been said in previous entries but...DAMMIT!!

I run into ladies that are damaged goods that still reflect on their past and want to tell you why they are they way they are, and why they have this unconquerable wall up that God himself can't climb.  So....what's your point?  Good honest men have endured the same pains and hurt feelings.  It's just as hard for us to get back out there as well.  Let's talk about right now...and later on...and the positives that are going our lives.  Allow me to ask you about YOU and YOUR goals.  Ask me about my family...my relationship with my parents.  Ask me about what I love most about fatherhood.  These are things that should take place amongst grown people.

Peace~&~Love

A Bit of a Rant....(I Hate Holding My Tongue)

I think speaking your mind is always a good thing....OK not always, but I am PRO saying whatever you have to say.  A lot of my friends have been telling me that I need to incorporate some censorship in my personality.  I personally think they should all be heavily medicated.  It's not easy for me to just be quite.  Especially when someone does something to piss me off.  


I am all the time saying that you should put into practice everyday "being yourself".  It's hard enough being yourself in the world we live in.  To be an individual is not an easy thing to do.  To stand on your own two feet and just say "I AM".  I don't like being around people who don't like who they are and try to be something they are not.  Those people are not trustworthy whatsoever.  They are needy, and if they are jealous of you, they will try to take what you have.  I am territorial so the mixture of those types of people and my willingness to tell people how I feel is just like throwing gas on a fire.

However....the point of this blog is me just venting because I am in a position right now where I have to shut my mouth and not say a word.  So I put it here.  Gotta love the Internet.  Seriously though....develop your own individuality. Your uniqueness is what makes you a beautiful person.  Be you...and only you....AND STAY AWAY FROM ME AND MINE!!!  I need a drink...

Peace & Love