My Dad always told me that as I climb up in age, I would be able to count my TRUE friends on one hand. At the time of him telling me this, there was no way that I thought that was true. I was only 14, who at that age can imagine not having a ton of friends. I'm 28 now, and I can say that he was right.
I want to be clear about something...I have been through literal hell this last year and a half. For those of you that read this and are on my Facebook, it may not seem like it because I am always cracking jokes on my statuses. However, 2011 was a complete nightmare for me. I went through a lot with my family, and there were some other issues I was dealing with. It was a pure roller coaster, and life is just now getting back to the norm, whatever the norm may be. I say this with humility and sincerity that I am in no way arrogant, nor do I put myself over anyone. With as much as I have dealt with, I am in no position to do things like that. With that being said, why the hell do I have the haters that I do?? It's crazy!!! I lost a best friend in the past year for no good reason whatsoever other than he was jealous. He admitted it in an argument. Jealous of what?? Grown men should not behave that way...at all. It's just mind boggling!! I am me, nothing more, nothing less. My motivation in succeeding is my 2 kids. They mean everything, they deserve the best that I can provide. I don't push myself for personal gain. It's hard to succeed in this world and pursue your dreams. Hell it's hard enough just trying to survive and make ends meet. But when those two kids of mine were born, it became about them, ALL ABOUT THEM.
I have been able to define what real friends are this past year. Real friends aren't just in your presence during your high moments. They don't call or stick around when they need something. Real friends aren't just there for your victories, but they are they during your failures. They are there in your moments of weakness. I'm thankful for the few that I do have. They know who they are.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Fatherhood Is My Blessing....
I love being a father. The blessings that it brings is second to none. When your children are born...they are perfect. You haven't done anything to mess them up or lead them down the wrong path. Watching my kids grow has been an experience that words can never describe. The little things they do just amaze me. Things that they say, things that they comprehend, emotions that they feel. It's all just mind blowing. For that I am thankful.
My daughter London is a shining star. Just beautiful and intelligent. Anymore everything she says to me just blows me away. I can't lie that I relish in the fact that she is completely a "Daddy's Girl". I think a lot about how precious she is and the importance of the role that I play as a father is. There's an expression that says that "A man will never know how to truly treat a women until he has a daughter" I agree with that. I fast forward to when she will be of age to date. What type of guy would I want to be in her company? Do I myself, conduct myself in a manner that I would want this guy to with my daughter? I want to set an example for her, showing her how a man should treat a women. I have a long time before all that happens (Thank God), but it is now, that she needs to see how it is that a women should be treated. This little girl is my world, my inspiration, my joy. There's nothing that I won't do for her to succeed in life.
My son Malachi is just an amazing young man. He has an unbelievable infatuation with Thomas The Train LOL. I can remember back when he was born, and I was just so excited to have a little boy. He's beautiful! It's ironic that his name means "Messenger of God". I can recall a time or two when I would be in a mood, maybe it just be sad or maybe I was frustrated, and this kid would come up to me out of no where and just hug me and say "I love you Daddy, smile!" And he would smile, I would smile, and for that moment nothing else mattered. He is a gift, a divine gift, just like his sister.
For me, my children have helped define who I am. They put things in perspective. Life is always going to bring new challenges whether welcomed or not. There will be times of pain, suffering, sorrow, but if you are a good parent, your children will reciprocate your actions with love and actions that can never ever be replaced in your heart. Think about it, they know nothing of struggle at a young age. They have no understanding of what bills are, or a 9 to 5 job. They are sources of happiness and blessings. I know mine are. London Aarabella Smith & Malachi Decklyn Smith.....Daddy loves you more than you can ever imagine. You are everything to me!!
My daughter London is a shining star. Just beautiful and intelligent. Anymore everything she says to me just blows me away. I can't lie that I relish in the fact that she is completely a "Daddy's Girl". I think a lot about how precious she is and the importance of the role that I play as a father is. There's an expression that says that "A man will never know how to truly treat a women until he has a daughter" I agree with that. I fast forward to when she will be of age to date. What type of guy would I want to be in her company? Do I myself, conduct myself in a manner that I would want this guy to with my daughter? I want to set an example for her, showing her how a man should treat a women. I have a long time before all that happens (Thank God), but it is now, that she needs to see how it is that a women should be treated. This little girl is my world, my inspiration, my joy. There's nothing that I won't do for her to succeed in life.
My son Malachi is just an amazing young man. He has an unbelievable infatuation with Thomas The Train LOL. I can remember back when he was born, and I was just so excited to have a little boy. He's beautiful! It's ironic that his name means "Messenger of God". I can recall a time or two when I would be in a mood, maybe it just be sad or maybe I was frustrated, and this kid would come up to me out of no where and just hug me and say "I love you Daddy, smile!" And he would smile, I would smile, and for that moment nothing else mattered. He is a gift, a divine gift, just like his sister.
For me, my children have helped define who I am. They put things in perspective. Life is always going to bring new challenges whether welcomed or not. There will be times of pain, suffering, sorrow, but if you are a good parent, your children will reciprocate your actions with love and actions that can never ever be replaced in your heart. Think about it, they know nothing of struggle at a young age. They have no understanding of what bills are, or a 9 to 5 job. They are sources of happiness and blessings. I know mine are. London Aarabella Smith & Malachi Decklyn Smith.....Daddy loves you more than you can ever imagine. You are everything to me!!
Friday, January 20, 2012
One Day...It Will Make Sense
Lately I've noticed that I am not a lot of women's type, and for some reason it took me a while to come to that conclusion. Or maybe I came to the idea a long time ago but wasn't ready to face it in my own head. Call it arrogance or what have you, but I consider myself to be a good man...a good person overall. After observing people, whether it be in person, or via Facebook, I came the realization that maybe I desire the wrong type of women AND, maybe some of these ladies just have have poor standards. I guess they go hand in hand.
It just angers me to no end sometimes. Beautiful woman...good job...her own home..nice car....shitty good for nothing below average man. Now look at that equation....go ahead look at it. If you have any kind of sense in your head you should be having the same type of reaction that I have..WHAT THE FUCK??
Now it has been explained to me that being "light skinned" and "talking proper" puts me in a category of being soft, too proper, not "thug enough." To the women that say that to me and honestly think that, get your mind right. That or just kill yourself. Yes, these things are said to me on the regular. Now I will take ownership over my portion of the blame here as far as, Why the hell am I attracted to these types of women? However, I think in these ladies I see a certain type of strong personality that I like. I mean, I know for fact it takes a strong women to be able to handle me. So maybe that's it. You may find that reasoning to be bullshit....but ...yeah.
Bottom line...I grew up in a 2 parent home. My father worked hard, stayed on the job for 40 years. Took care of me and my 2 sisters and was a model husband to my mother. These are the things I grew up seeing. I didn't see my father call my mother a bitch, or a hoe, never did he put his hands on her. He respected her, loved her, honored her, and took delight in her strength as a women. However my mothers role in that was important as well, in that she ALLOWED him to do these things, and EXCEPTED it with love and joy. These are things I just don't see anymore, at least in my generation. Women are hard minded and thrive on men that they shouldn't.
All I know how to be is me...that's how I will stay. If you waste time on someone or something that has no positive effect in your life...what are you saying about yourself...what value do you have on your own life?
Peace~&~Love
It just angers me to no end sometimes. Beautiful woman...good job...her own home..nice car....shitty good for nothing below average man. Now look at that equation....go ahead look at it. If you have any kind of sense in your head you should be having the same type of reaction that I have..WHAT THE FUCK??
Now it has been explained to me that being "light skinned" and "talking proper" puts me in a category of being soft, too proper, not "thug enough." To the women that say that to me and honestly think that, get your mind right. That or just kill yourself. Yes, these things are said to me on the regular. Now I will take ownership over my portion of the blame here as far as, Why the hell am I attracted to these types of women? However, I think in these ladies I see a certain type of strong personality that I like. I mean, I know for fact it takes a strong women to be able to handle me. So maybe that's it. You may find that reasoning to be bullshit....but ...yeah.
Bottom line...I grew up in a 2 parent home. My father worked hard, stayed on the job for 40 years. Took care of me and my 2 sisters and was a model husband to my mother. These are the things I grew up seeing. I didn't see my father call my mother a bitch, or a hoe, never did he put his hands on her. He respected her, loved her, honored her, and took delight in her strength as a women. However my mothers role in that was important as well, in that she ALLOWED him to do these things, and EXCEPTED it with love and joy. These are things I just don't see anymore, at least in my generation. Women are hard minded and thrive on men that they shouldn't.
All I know how to be is me...that's how I will stay. If you waste time on someone or something that has no positive effect in your life...what are you saying about yourself...what value do you have on your own life?
Peace~&~Love
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