It's funny...I used to think that not having a type as far as what type of women I wanted to date, was the way to go. Keeping my options open so to say. While that may be true to this day as far as race, the rest of that scenario is just unrealistic. It just is, there is no way you can pursue a dating situation without knowing at least somewhat, what type of woman you are looking for. What type of woman compliments you? Can you compliment her? Is she happy with herself and vice versa? What type of baggage does she have and vice versa? Is she sane? What are her goals? Is she TOO INDEPENDENT? YES THAT IS A LEGIT AND REAL QUESTION!! These are all things to consider, that NEED to be considered.
I will address the "too independent" question, as I take it some ladies will read this and wonder what I mean. Listen, I'm all about independence. For men and women. So many times I hear women say, "I don't need a man!!" OK fine, yes, maybe you don't. On the same kick, stop lying to yourself because you know you want one. To which there is nothing wrong with that. You just want the RIGHT one. However ladies, STOP THROWING YOUR INDEPENDENCE IN OUR FACES. With independence should come a sense of humility and gratitude to God. Everything we have can be gone before we know it. So it's like, I see these successful and independent women, who deserve a man that they can build a partnership with in life, and yet they don't really hold high enough standards for themselves and end up selling themselves short. Why is that by the way? For instance I saw a successful woman I know over the weekend out with a guy that just screamed douche bag, yet, if you talk to her, she complains about being hurt, not trusting men blah blah blah tear drops and a Waiting to Exhale movie. Look at your taste, and the quality that YOU yourself select. Do you see the imbalance I'm referring to here? Just one of the many reasons why you can't just wing it when you try to step into the havoc of dating.
One of my personal favorites, well, not really my favorites but the kind of woman that drives me nuts is the "I want a bad boy" woman. So here's what I say to that. In 6 months, if you're not already, you will be DAMAGED GOODS. So much so that guys like me when you run into us have to endure that type of stress that Obama had his first year of office where we have to play "clean up" after the guy who left office. Sometimes it can be worth it, other times, its just not. Once again it comes down to standards. Having a sense of worth and dignity. I am taking this advice too. My choices could have been better in the past. I know my worth though, and I know there is a women that will see that in me and will appreciate it.
I come from a two parent house hold. My Mom and Dad are still together after 30+ years of marriage. So I think it is embedded in me to think, know, and believe that good relationships do exist and can exist. No one should ever think they have to change who they are for the sake of receiving the attention of another person. Self worth, and a humble heart being displayed by a man and a women are whats needed.
Ladies imagine a man that you have interest in. You talk on the phone. You go on the first few dates. He calls you during the day and says, "Come over tonight, lets stay in. I will get us a movie. I'm cooking, just tell me what you like. I will grab your favorite wine. We can talk, we can laugh, and listen to music. Now as things progress....he stays the same. He doesn't change, his newness hasn't worn off. Your newness to him is still shining bright.
It does exist....I promise you it does. If you want it to.
Peace~N~Love Yall
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